


Hell has no fury like a woman sconed.

by Phookadoo



Category: Father Brown (2013)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phookadoo/pseuds/Phookadoo
Summary: What one may first perceive as as something welcomed, is not as it seems.  Mrs. McCarthy goes to America and  enters her world famous strawberry scones in the Pillsbury Bake Off.  Can she muster up what it takes to win with not only the time allotted, but also,  the limitations of the ingredients at hand.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I claim no Father Brown characters as my own. If there is characters that I do own while writing this, I will note this by using a o/c symbol then their name. I am writing this in collaboration with Vera Hines.

                                                                                                    Chapter 1- the act of Culinary Treachery

        It was a beautiful early morning day when the sound of clicking heels against a stone cobbled sidewalk. As the clicks get louder, one sees Mrs. McCarthy walking towards the Kembleford Post Office; just one of her many stops along her way to St. Mary’s to begin her work day as the Presbytery secretary. She lowers her hand from her eyes as she gets to the door and away from the strong glistening of the sun. She opens the door and the sound of the bell hung on the door can be heard. Today she is lucky in the respect that there are no other patrons in line to receive mail.

  
         “Good Morning Mrs. McCarthy! Here to pick up the Father’s mail?”

  
          “As usual Earl. How did you like the Victoria Sandwich that I dropped off yesterday?”

  
          “You know how it always goes Mam. It never made it out of the office and once again, the wife and kids never got a slice.”

  
           “Well then I guess next time I will have to come by in the afternoon and drop it off.”

 

           Earl hands her the daily mail and she begins to exit the post office.

  
           “Mrs. McCarthy! Wait! I forgot I have something for you.”

  
            She turns around and proceeds to go back to the mail desk and as she is doing so, Earl turns around and gets the long, thick manila envelope that is next to the shelves where the mailboxes are.

  
            “Here you are Mrs. McCarthy. Hum; It’s from America.”

  
             “America? I don’t know anybody from America. “

  
             “Well it addressed to you from a company called General Mills.”

  
             Mrs. McCarthy gives a look of confusion to Earl and she receives the package and makes her way to St. Mary’s. As she enters the kitchen, she sees Father Brown sitting at the table sipping his first cup of tea of the day. He looks at her with concern as she stands in the kitchen still with the look of confusion and amazement on her face.

          “Is everything all right Mrs. McCarthy? You don’t look like your usual self today?”

  
         “Everything is fine Father but I got this package from America today and I do not know why. I didn’t write any company called General Mills. I do not know what this company is or why they would send me this package. I mean how would a company in America have my name and address to begin with?”

  
         “Well, Mrs. M; why don’t we ponder that over a cup of tea.”

   
         As Father Brown starts to pour her a cup of tea, she sits down and opens up the package and sees the opening letter and is still holding on the look of confusion still on her face. As she reads the letter she notices the letter head and notices the words the seventh annual Pillsbury Bake off. Father Brown looks at her with some concern as she is still maintaining a more severe look of confusion. Before he can inquire further, she reads the letter out loud to him. The following is what was contained in the letter:

     Dear Mrs. McCarthy:

  
      We would like to thank you for your recent entry that we received on October 15, of last year. After thorough testing from our home economist, we all agree that it would be a wonderful recipe to include in this years Pillsbury Bake-off which will be held in August in Pasadena California.

  
      We are very excited to have your entry and hope that you will attend the contest as this will be our first year in which we will be expanding the event to international contestants in hopes of not only promoting our products in the international market; but also, to introduce the American consumer to other recipes that are global in nature. We here at General Mills feel that your recipe would be a wonderful addition to be featured in our women’s magazines here in the United States providing your recipe for your award winning strawberry scones is this year’s winner.

  
      Enclosed is all information about this year’s event including its’ location and rules and regulations pertaining to the event.  
From all of us here at General Mills and Pillsbury, we would like to not only congratulate you; but also, will be awaiting your acceptance of your participation in the event. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us at the address given located in the enclosed package. Thank you for your time and attention.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                         Sincerely,  
                                                                                                                                                                                               Mary Jane Eldredge  
                                                                                                                                                                             Head of Home Economics at Genera Mills

 

 

       A look of complete outrage fell upon Mrs. McCarthy’s face as she was reading the letter.

  
      “Who did this! My family’s recipe never was and should never been allowed to be given out to anybody!” She continued on with a full red face as she was shaking with anger. “This recipe was given to me by my mother and her mother before her and her mother before her! How could somebody do this to me! Betray me in this manner!” as her eyes filled up with tears. “I do not even know how somebody got the recipe to begin with? My mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew about this!”

  
      Father Brown could do nothing but quietly sit and listen to her justified rant. In his many years of being a priest this was the first time that he could not come up with words of comfort to her or anybody in his parish. He could not even think of what advice or plan of action to take on how to resolve the matter at hand.

  
      As she sat there with her face buried in her hands and loudly crying, the rumble of Bunty’s car engine could be heard as she stopped, turned off her engine and proceeded to enter St. Mary’s. Mrs. McCarthy’s sobbing drowned out the sound of Bunty’s footsteps as she entered in. A look of dire concern overcame her face as she saw the condition of Mrs. McCarthy.

  
      “Oh, My goodness Mrs. M! What is the matter? Father; What on earth is going on?”

  
       “It looks like somebody has done a bit of covert treachery on poor Mrs. M. We are at a bit of mystery on how it happened and why and how it got to a company in America.”

  
       “America? Oh Mrs. M, I am so sorry that this has happened to you! Is there anything I can do to help or make you feel better?” Bunty said with a look of comfort on her face.

  
      Mrs. McCarthy sniffled as she responded, “Not really but if I ever catch who did this, well I will; let’s just say whatever I do will not be fitting for a lady to speak about at this time.”

  
      Bunty looked at Father Brown with a lost look on her face as Mrs. McCarthy continued on with her rant.

  
       “And to think, this company has the audacity to invite me to come to America and compete with others! My strawberry scones are uncontested and have been for many, many, years! I do not need to prove anything to anybody! Participate in this so-called Pillsbury Bake off. I will spare the indignation of responding!”

  
     “Contest; in America?” Bunty replied with a confused look on her face.

  
      “Yes! They want me to come to America and participate in this baking contest! If they deemed me the winner, then they are going to publish the recipe in American women’s magazines. If my poor, poor mother was alive, I couldn’t bear to face her after what has happened.” Mrs., McCarthy said as she buried her face in her hands crying.

  
     Bunty looked at Father Brown and an idea popped in her head, she continued to look at him and he understood it as a sign to follow her lead.

  
     “You know Mrs. M since the deed has been done, you might as well make the best of if.”

  
      “How could you dare to say a thing like that to me Bunty! You know full well how sacred that recipe is to me!”

  
       “Of course, I know.” Bunty said with a look of comfort on her face, “But I mean, It is all ready out there and this company feels it is good enough to be an entry in from what is a nationwide contest and they invited you to participate then they must see that your scones are worthy of being in the running but through it give you national exposure. It would be only a matter of time in which the news would be reported here in England. Think about it Mrs. M. You could be asked for more of your recipes and maybe you might even get asked to write a cook book. Just think our own Mrs. M a published author. Who would have known it?”  
  
     “Mrs. M. and let’s not forget how the Kembleford WI would look. “, said Father Brown, “They could brag to other chapters that they have a member who is a winner of a international baking contest. Who knows, they may make you the president of the chapter not to mention the possibility of being a viewed as member of great esteemed at the National headquarters.”

  
     “Not to mention you could end up meeting the Queen.” Bunty said with excitement.

  
      “Me?! Meeting the Queen?”

  
      “Anything is possible.” Stated Father Brown,” This bit of culinary treachery could very possibly lead to other opportunities that you may never have thought of.”

  
     “Why Father, I never thought of it that way. “said Mrs. McCarthy. “I mean I am representing England and the whole United Kingdom in this contest aren’t I.”

  
      “Yes, you are Mrs. M.” said the Father.

  
       “But how will I get there? I mean I haven’t updated my passport in years and not mention the cost of getting to America, how can I afford that? That is not even including all the other expenses that will come with such a feat.”

  
        “Mrs. M. You don’t worry about it.” Bunty said with a tone of assurance in her voice.” I would be more than happy to help with that and besides we have plenty of time to figure all that out. You leave it to me and you just work on those award-winning scones.” assured Bunty.

  
       Father Brown raised his tea cup as if he was proposing a toast.

  
      “To Queen and Country.”

  
      “To Queen and County!” They all replied.


	2. Daydreams of extreme Grandeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While perfecting what Mrs. McCarthy sees as all ready perfect, she subjects Father Brown to what is in her mind her rightful destiny.

        Mrs. McCarthy being the fierce competitor that she has been in the past when it comes to her baking knows what it takes to win.  With that understanding, she prepares herself for the upcoming competition much the delight of some and to the torment of others.

        Recently, she is very welcomed at the police station even to the point that Inspector Mallory shows a smile of delight when he sees her entering the building.  One can also note a childlike smile from Sargent Goodfellow because he knows he will be asked to be her test bunny for the day’s batch of her famous Strawberry Scones.    This is in stark contrast to both Father Brown and Bunty only because you can eat only so many of her scones for so long and she has been making them on a daily basis for the past five months. 

        When asked why she does this, she always will justify it with the reasoning that she has to perfect her recipe to the last second only because she knows that she is only given an allotted time from the time she starts until she must present s what she calls “her plate of perfection” to the judges.  In her mind, she feels that she is the only person that can represent Britannia and her majesty the Queen in the way that will showcase their glory and all that is British and good. 

        Another day has begun as well as another batch of her scones.  As she is measuring out her ingredients, she can be seen daydreaming of what is to in her mind be her destiny.  She drifts off in this state of conscious pretending in her mind that she is receiving this year’s trophy for the Pillsbury Bakeoff while the sights and sounds of cameras are being shown.  She next envisions herself in a posh and crowded bookstore in London signing the cover page of her latest cookbook with a reporter trying to get her to answer some questions for an article that will soon appear on the latest women’s magazine.

       A mischievous smile comes over her face when she in her mind sees a few women of the Kembleford WI; the ones that she discretely feuded with over the years that look upon her with great envy as she says to herself, “I showed them didn’t I. Now who has the last laugh.”

      She next hears the opening and closing of the parish’s outside door and the footsteps of Father Brown.  He tries to with as much enthusiasm as possible show excitement to what he knows as another taste testing of her perfected scones despite the fact that he is really sick of them and would not be traumatized in any way if she never made them again or at least for a very long time.    

      “Creating another plate of perfection again Mrs. M?”

      “You know the old saying Father. “Practice makes perfect.””

      As Mrs. McCarthy was forming her scones to prepare for baking she noticed a look of dread coming from the Father’s face and with some concern had to ask.

     “Did the parish council meeting go all right for you today Father.”

     “As well as to be expected Mrs. McCarthy but there were a few matters that were a bit concerning but nothing that can not be handled.”  

      “Such as?”

      “Well you do not have to worry about how we will manage here at St. Mary’s while you and Bunty are off to America for the month of August.   Your temporary replacement has been decided on.  I will have to adjust to the way she does things., but I will manage just fine. Don’t you worry.”

        “You know Father if it would put too much of a burden on you I can stay home and not go to America.”

          “Mrs. McCarthy. I won’t hear of it.” Father Brown said in a stern tone.  “You have worked too long for this and I feel that the time away may do you some good.  Don’t worry I will be fine.” 

          “Are you sure Father?”

           “Perfectly, Mrs. M. Perfectly.”

           “Who then has the Parish Council chosen to take my place for that time?”

             “Mrs. Steele will be substituting in your place while you are away.” The Father said while trying to hide the look of dread on his face.

           “You know Father I can always.”

              The Father returned her remark with a stern look as if to say you are doing this and that is that end of story.

             Mrs. McCarthy gave a sigh as she replied, “Okay Father I will go as planned.”

             Father Brown started to pour himself a cup of tea that was on the table. He looked up at the clock on the shelf and noticed it was ten o’clock and Bunty was late again for the third time this week. 

           Mrs. McCarthy noticed his actions and replied,” I know she is late again.  Must be tough being her all the gallivanting she has to do and so little time to do so.  I must be such an unspeakable burden being her. “

     “Maybe she had some business of her own to do.  You know Mrs. M she is the one who is making all the arrangements for you to get to California.  America is a big country and there are many ways to get from point A to point B in a timely manner.  You might want to exercise a little bit of understanding when it comes to her.”

       “Well I suppose you are right Father.  There is one thing Father that has been bothering me for quite some time.”

       “And what would that be?”

       “I do not understand after all this time how my recipe got to America in the first place.”

        “Well Mrs. M.  there are mysteries that only God knows the answers to.”

         “Well Father I suppose you’re right.  I may be glad of having this a mystery later on when I am in my dressing room at the BBC while I am preparing for my cooking show.  Who knows, I may even be invited to Buckingham Palace and make them for the Queen or maybe.” Mrs. McCarthy said with her eyes wide open with excitement, “Or The President of the United States himself!”  

     All Father Brown could do is just sit there and refrain himself from rolling his eyes as she spoke and thinking to himself, “Dear God please make this pain stop! Please!”.  

  
 


	3. A little bit of heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day finally comes for our two ladies to set off on their adventure. They take the time while doing so to enjoy a few moments of luxury and some well deserved rest.

                                                                                          A little bit of heaven

  

        The time finally came when both Mrs. McCarthy and Bunty were to set sail to their great adventure to America.  Bunty left no detail undone.  Months before, she made sure that both ladies passports were updated and packed in their proper place for easy access.  All travel itineraries were prepared and studied to make sure there was no room for error.    Bunty even took the time and attention to bring Mrs. McCarthy to London to treat her to a few new dresses and even a new hat that was said to be like a hat that Queen Elizabeth’s wore on her recent trip to Australia. 

       The one thing that Bunty later regretted is that days before they were to set sail to America she decided to treat both Father Brown and Mrs. McCarthy to a matinée showing of the Titanic at the movie theater in Gloucestershire.  She realized this on the day they arrived in Southampton to board the ship.

       A nervous look of dread came over Mrs. McCarthy’s face as she was walking the ramp that lead to the ship. 

       “Are you sure this ship is sound?  I hope it can stay afloat in case it hits and iceberg.”

       “Oh, dear God Mrs. M.  like I told before. The chances of us hitting an iceberg is slim to nil. This is not the Titanic and it’s August for heavens sake.  Any iceberg we are to encounter is going to be on your plate as lettuce.  The only ice you are going to see on board is the one in your glass.”

        “Well on can not be too careful.  Always be prepared my girl guide leader told me.” Mrs. McCarthy said as she turned and faced to ship as she ascended up the ramp. 

       All Bunty could do at this point is to keep a straight face but she couldn’t help but roll her eyes after Mrs. McCarthy finished her comment. 

       Before they arrived at their cabin, they looked down at the dock and saw Father Brown waving good bye to them with a bit of a dreadful look of anticipation only because he knew that when he got back to the presbytery he would have to deal with Mrs. Steele. Ne of his many hopes is that tomorrow morning he does not find her in the kitchen making the porridge that she made for him the last time she filled in as St. Mary’s secretary.  He had wondered if it was breakfast or she was planning on re wallpapering the kitchen and that was the paste she was going to use.  Either way he tried to hide his despair and put on a smile and waved knowing he had to rely on his faith to get him through this time.

    The loud bellowing sounds of the ship’s horn along with the smell and the smoke from the stack pipes of the ship signaled to all that the ship was to soon leave its’ harbor.   The ship left and sailed to America with no discernable complications along the way.  Bunty found it a joy to watch Mrs. McCarthy for once be taken care of by the ship’s crew and for once allow herself to enjoy some relaxing time on the ship. 

    Once during afternoon tea, Bunty asked” Mrs. M when was the last time you were able to just relax and enjoy yourself?”

   “To be honest with you Penelope, I can’t remember when it has been that long.”

   “Well you enjoy it Mrs. M.  I can’t think of anybody more deserving than you.”

    “Thank you, my dear.”

     “Well it is true.”, Bunty said with a smile on her face.  “I can’t think of anybody at home who does more for others and does so with no complaints or wanting anything in return for all that you do.”

       “Well Penelope I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a break once in a while.”

      “No, it wouldn’t Mrs. M.”

     Seven days later, a well-rested Mrs. McCarthy and Bunty arrived at New York harbor.   A ship’s porter was able to help them find a cab to get a limousine to transport them to the Waldoff Astoria for their one-night stay in the city. 

       Moments later they arrived in the hotel and was met by a very well-dressed hotel greeter whom graciously opened the limousine door for them and helped both ladies out.  Their luggage was next taken out of the car by the bell boy and they were promptly escorted to the front desk where the manager had stood.  They were cautiously welcomed and before long, were given the key to their room and were followed by the bell boy who was carrying their luggage in a beautiful brass  valet. 

      When they arrived in their room, the bellboy took their and opened the door to their room.  It was more like suite than anything and Mrs. McCarthy gave a look as if she died and went to heaven.   The suite was a beautifully decorated room that was of a French motif.  On each bed, a beautiful silk bath robe was displayed along with a bottle of champagne and 2 small boxes of the finest chocolates that the city had to offer.  In the living room of the suite, stood a beautiful 18th century reproduction of a French sofa and ottoman along with one thing that Mrs. McCarthy thought she would never have the chance to experience. To her delight she saw in the corner a television.  Yes! A television.  She had only heard of them but never had seen one.   She smiled as she took in all the sights of the room knowing that this was all for her.  Well her for her and Bunty that is. 

       “It is like Versailles in here!” Mrs. McCarthy said with a excitement of a little girl in her voice.

      “Isn’t it?  I don’t know about you Mrs. M but I have no intentions of leaving this room.  In fact, I think I am going to take a nice long bath and get into that y beautiful robe, order room service and enjoy the night drinking champagne and eating those beautiful chocolates that the hotel had graciously given us.”

      “Bunty for once, I totally agree with you.  While you are enjoying your well-deserved bath, I am going to put my feet up and rest my bunions on this ottoman and read this thing here called the TV Guide.  I think I will even order midafternoon tea from room service while I am waiting. “

       “You do that Mrs. M.  Let’s say dinner at seven?  That will give us time to get settled and order something real special.  Something that we could never get in Kembleford.”  

       Both ladies nodded at each other as if they were privy to a great secret.  A secret that only those two alone with share and keep private to the grave.

        While Bunty was enjoying her bath, Mrs. McCarthy picked up the beautiful princess style telephone and rang for room service and ordered tea fit for a queen.  She then picked up the TV guide and started thumbing through the magazine. 

        She had a feeling of surrealism as she was taking in all of her surroundings.  She then began to daydream of the possibilities to come.  She thought to herself that maybe she comes here next time, she will be a best-selling cookbook author.  Who knows. Maybe a station here in America will be doing an interview on her.   

     While daydreaming, another thought popped into head.  A detail that she forgot.  If she was the winner of the Pillsbury Bake off, there was a cash prize.  The winner would receive a check for $25.000.  $25,000 dollars!  Why that is about $12,500 British pounds!  I can do a lot with that.  I can well help Father Brown pay for a proper roof for St. Mary’s! 

       Finally! No more bake sales.  No more begging for money or even trying to squeeze the little we do have to make ends meet.  The roof will finally be done.  Finally!  Who knows what this could lead?  I may even be invited to join the Parish Council.  Me.  Little ol’ Bridget McCarthy a member of the Parish Council!   You know some great things do come out of the strangest places and for that I am glad. Thank you, dear Lord, thank you.

     She enjoyed this moment knowing that tomorrow morning was a different day and it had it’s struggles to get through in order to get to her final destination and goal.  She knew that tomorrow morning she had to arrive at Penn Station by seven o’clock sharp so that she and Bunty could catch the eight o’clock train heading to Chicago.

     If they missed that train, all of their itinerary would be shot.  All reservations to the hotels as well as the car rental Bunty had reserved was planned months in advance and the trip’s schedule was planned to the last second.

      As she preceded to enjoy the night, she understood that there was no room for even the slightest error.  This stayed in her mind as she enjoyed her afternoon tea and dinner.  She for a minute felt as if she was in Buckingham Palace versus a plush hotel in New York City.   After the concierge showed her how to use the television she was amazed at the new technology and all the wonder it had shown her.  She even did something she would never had done at home and that is eating her dinner in front of the television.  In Bridget McCarthy’s mind, this was defiantly a night to remember and worth having submitted in to a baking company in America her family’s recipe of Strawberry Scones.

      But alas, as all nights do. They come to an end.  It is eight fifteen in the evening and is sitting on the edge of her luxuriously dressed, turned down bed knowing that very soon she will enter that bed and sleep [ more soundly as she ever did before knowing that she will soon start the day ready to embrace her well-deserved destiny.


	4. A lot of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What comes up must come down.

                                                                                                                   A lot of Hell

     Five thirty a.m. came around quickly and the ladies received their wake-up call as requested upon check in.  They received a knock on the door and it was the room service that they called in upon turning in for the night.  They bid each other good morning as they stumbled to their breakfast table which was elegantly dressed with the finest table linens and they were put before them a beautiful American breakfast which included orange juice, eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes and American style pancakes with fresh, warm Vermont maple syrup and a choice of either coffee or tea.   A breakfast fit more befitting for a Bouvier than two women from a small village in south western England. 

    A slight feeling of dread was felt between them knowing that this leg of the journey was going to long.  Very long. 

    “You know Mrs. M, this is the part of our journey that will be hard for me.  I don’t do well sitting in one spot for long periods of time. We will be spending most of the day getting from here to Chicago not to mention God knows how long it will take from there to California.”

    “I think we will find a way to manage Bunty providing we do so on schedule.”

     “Yes, and we need to be careful when we get to D.C. Mrs. M.”

     “D.C?”

      “Yes Mrs. M that is where we have to change trains to get to Chicago.”

      “Why yes we mustn’t miss that Penelope should we?  And how long is the layover in Chicago?”

       “We are looking at a five-hour layover until we catch the train heading to Los Angeles.  I hope there is alcohol on the train.  At least it will make the time a bit more bearable.”

      “Drinking?  I don’t think so Missy.  The last thing I need is to be babysitting an overgrown drunken teenager while trying to navigate within a country as large and as strange as this one is.  If we need to be making our stops on time then we both need to keep our wits together.”

         “Oh, come on Mrs. M.  I mean a girl has to find some way of coping and besides I bet you wouldn’t be this way If it was Sid was here.”

        “If Sidney was here I would be like this more so.  He is worse than you!”  

        “Ok; ok Mrs. M. I will behave but just this once.”, Bunty said with a big sigh in her voice.

        By seven a.m. both Bunty and Mrs. McCarthy made it to Penn Station with enough time to load their luggage unto the train and for them to have a quick cup of coffee before they were instructed to board the train. 

       The voyage from New York to Washington D.C was uneventful and with ease they made the transfer from one train to another. Unfortunately for both ladies, one of the longest legs of the trip was yet to come.  The one thing that was a blessing was the fact that they had the luxury of having a private sleeping car.  By the next morning, they had arrived in Chicago. 

      A groggy Mrs. McCarthy and Bunty got off the train decided to take a small tour of the windy city before they headed back to the station and catch their train.  They did some shopping and toured the various sites of the city and stopped for a time at the Sears tower.  They lost track of time and before they knew it, they had a half an hour to go before they needed to be seated at their seat.  

      Fortunely for them, a cab was easily found.  Unfortunely for them, they were stuck in mid-day traffic.  By the time they got to the train station, they missed their intended train by ten minutes.  In a panic, Bunty was able to get them the next train which was due to arrive within the next two hours.  What they were informed of later was that their luggage was at least one thing that made their intended train.  Luckily for them, the station manager wired to the manager in Los Angeles that their luggage was on board and the ladies were relieved to find out that the manager there will be holding onto their luggage until they come to claim it.

      For now, all they had to travel with was nothing more than the money in their purses and the clothes on their back. It will be another three days after they leave Chicago until they reach their final destination.  What was even more unfortunate was the fact that every and all things they had reserved would be forfeited because they will not be able to arrive on time to receive their intended services and rooms.  But for now, that was something to worry about in another time. The main concern was to get to their destination as soon as possible. 

       They boarded to what they thought was their correct train and if it was, it would have gotten them to Los Angeles in somewhat of a timely manner but due to their panic they ended up on a train heading to Austin, Texas.   They were on the train for about an hour until the conductor notified them on their destination.   At this point, Mrs. McCarthy was almost in tears. 

       The one thing they could be thankful for is this one thing.  The conductor on board worked for railroad for fifty years and there was not on station or destination in the south western area of the United States he did not know.  He not only told them what train they needed and to what track it was on but, he personally made sure he escorted both ladies to the intended track and made sure that they made it on time.  In truth he just couldn’t bear seeing poor Mrs. McCarthy cry.  This was compounded by the fact he found her attractive and enjoyed his time with her despite the fact she was in a panic state the entire time.

    Finally! They made it to their correct train to get them back on track so to speak.  One would have been lying to Bunty and Mrs. McCarthy if they were told it was going to be a comfortable ride.  It was August and the train had no air conditioning and they were going to have to travel through Death Valley in order to reach their destination.  One’s first instinct when it is warm is to open up a window however this did no good.  If they didn’t get blasted with heat, then they had to contend with sand blowing through the window.  They learned the hard way that the hairspray they had in their hair was a great magnet for dust.  They had only the clothes on their backs and limited toiletries at which they bought on the train and not mention they had to contend with two and a half days of ninety plus heat outside.   

      To enhance their pleasure on this trip, they had to share a bunk bed in one of the Pullman cars and that next them was a mother who had with her a three-year-old boy named Tommy who enjoyed the trip as much as the ladies did and if they were not kicking the back of their seats was screaming as much as possible.  This same mother and child also occupied the bunk bed across the hall from them.  Tommy did not like to go to bed and let the whole train know that fact. 

       Two and a half days later, the train arrived in the Los Angeles train station.  They made their way to the ticket booth and asked for the manager.  They presented their luggage tickets and they finally were able to pick up their luggage.  Finally, the ladies thought some sort of comfort awaits. 

        Bunty took the time to go to a pay phone to see about whether or not they could get some sort of room in the hotel they intended on.  Alas that was not to happen.  Since they did not make their check in date, the room was given away to the next guest.

     After flipping through the phone book, Bunty found the only motel that had available rooms. It was located ten miles out of the city in a run-down area.  Out of desperation they agreed to take the room.   The plus side was that it was significantly cheaper than the hotel they chose.  The down side was that the ladies got what they paid for. It was a motel that had a reputation for renting the rooms by the hour versus the night.  They found that out when they kept hearing the banging of headboards against a wall and sounds that no gentile lady like Mrs. McCarthy’s would ever want to hear.  They had to stay the entire time there because the Bake off had attracted a substantial amount of guest and there was no spare rooms any where else.

       After braving the night at their room of paradise, Bunty called the place she had intended to rent a car from.  She had fancied herself driving Mrs. McCarthy around in the 1953 Corvette convertible that she had hoped was still available but alas it wasn’t.  After some argument with the owner of the rental company, the only vehicle available to her was a 1951 Ford Arrow pick up truck with no air conditioning and no radio with a column snifter to which she had no idea how to run and was a hard top.  What was to be a car befitting of a movie star ended up to be a vehicle befitting to a man named Bubba.

     In the end a small silver lining to what was a very big, dark cloud could be found.  They finally made it to their destination and in a timely manner.  For that, they were glad.


End file.
